A little girl was talking to her teacher about

whales. The teacher said it was  physically impossible for a

whale to swallow a human because even though it  was a

very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl

stated that Jonah was  swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the

teacher  reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;

it was physically  impossible. The little girl said, "When I get

to  heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What  if

Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied,  "Then you ask

him".

  A  Kindergarten teacher was observing her

classroom of children while they  were drawing. She would

occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got

to one little girl who was working  diligently, she asked what

the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The

teacher paused and said,  "But no one knows what God looks

like." Without missing a beat, or  looking up from her

drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a  minute."

  A Sunday school  teacher was discussing the Ten

Commandments with her five and six year  olds. After

explaining the commandment to  "honour" thy Father and

thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a  commandment that

teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without

missing a beat one little boy (the  oldest of a family)

answered, "Thou shall not kill."

  One day a  little girl was sitting and watching her

mother do the dishes at the  kitchen sink. She suddenly

noticed that her mother had several strands of  white hair

sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at

her mother and inquisitively  asked, "Why are some of your

hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time 

that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy,

one of my hairs  turns white." The little girl thought about

this  revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how

come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" 

teacher was trying to persuade them each  to buy a copy of

the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to  look at it

when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's 

 a lawyer,' or 'That's  Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at

the back of  the room rang out, "And there's  the teacher,

she's dead."

  A teacher  was giving a lesson on the circulation of

the blood. Trying to make the  matter clearer, she said,

"Now, class, if I stood on my head, the  blood, as you know,

would run into it, and I would turn red in the  face." "Yes,"

the class said. "Then why is it that while  I am standing

upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my

feet?" A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't  empty." 

Catholic elementary school for lunch.  At the head of the

table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note,  and

posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is  watching."  

Moving further along the lunch  line, at the other end of the

table was a large pile of chocolate chip  cookies. A child had

written a note, "Take all  you want. God is watching the

apples."